Am I still alive?
“Oh shit man, what the fuck just happened? Are you alright? What the fuck, was that a seizure or something?”
I look down at my drink, it’s spilled across the bar . . .
“Yeah, something sure as shit just happened. I was sittin’ here looking at you and you just stiffened up and your right arm started shaking all over the damn place.”
“Man, I don’t remember.”
“That was some strange shit my friend. Don’t do that again. Whoo! Scared me half to death. Don’t DO that shit again.”
“Yeah . . . sorry about that. I don’t know what happened. I’ve never had a seizure before.”
“Your lips were all movin’ and shit like you were talking to somebody, but nothing was coming out. Fucking creepy.”
“I don’t know what to tell you . . .”
“Fucking eyes were all rolled back in your head . . .”
“Alright, let’s just forget about it, alright? Don’t tell anybody about it, o.k.? We’ll just keep this between me and you.”
“Whoo! Ok, just between us. I am glad that shit is over though. Oh no!!”
“Your fucking drink, you spilled it. Look at that shit, it’s running all over the place.”
“Yeah, I see that . . .”
“I’ll get you another one, hold on.”
“Ahh, don’t mention it. Next rounds on you though.”
“Yeah, I got it.”
“BARTENDA’, we need another drink down here. Better bring a towel too.”
We’re all ok here. Everything is going to be alright.
I don’t need this.
It’s going to be alright.
I don’t want this.
Something’s not right.
It’s not. Not anymore.
It has to be right, it’s all there is.
Not for me.
Yes, just for you.
I don’t want this.
It doesn’t matter, it’s yours.
It’s not mine.
It is yours.
You’re not even real. None of this is.
What is real then? If you can see it, hear it, feel it, touch it, then is it not real?
I know what’s real.
You hear me. You see me. I know you feel me. Take your turn, it’s ok.
No. I’m done with all this.
Really? Do you really think you have that choice?
You’re not even close to being done.