“You can tell me. I want to know what’s hurting you so bad.”
“Why? Do I have a fucking pity sign taped to my back or something?”
“No! I’m not pitying you, I’m trying to understand you. You’re my friend. You said before, no one has ever given a shit about you, well guess what? I DO. Why are you pushing me away? What are you afraid of? Do you want me to feel sorry for you? ‘Cause you sure seem to be spending a lot of time feeling sorry for yourself.”
“YOU DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND . . . “
She pulls back . . .
“I’m trying to. I want to understand . . .”
It’s your fault.
“It’s just not an easy thing to say out loud.”
“It’s just that . . . I’ve done some things . . . made things happen . . .”
He stops, stares straight through me . . .
“It’s ok, tell me.”
Tell her . . .
“My wife died. You knew that, right?”
“You know how she died?”
“In a car accident?”
“Did you know I was in the accident with her?”
“Yeah, I heard that.”
“Did you hear about the other people?”
“I think so.”
“It was a woman and her two little kids.”
He looks different now . . . smaller . . . weaker . . . quiet . . . a piece of him falls to the ground . . . then another . . .
Tell her what a fucking murderer you are.
“I heard about the woman and her baby. I didn’t know there was anybody else.”
“Yeah. The woman, her name was Catherine, and her two kids, Jake and Emma. That was their names . . . Jake and Emma.”
“Which one was the baby?”
“Jake. He was nine months old. Emma was nine years. Nine and nine, kinda weird, huh?”
She doesn’t say anything.
“I killed these people. And my wife.”
“How did you kill them? I thought it was an accident?”
I stare at the ground.
“It was my fault. The accident.”
“What happened? Were you the one driving?”
“No, my wife was driving. I was in the passenger seat. Talking.”
“What were you talking about?”
“I was telling her I was leaving her. That it was over.”
“Yeah, our marriage. I had been seeing someone else.”
“I told her I had been seeing this other woman and that I had fallen in love with her. She was crying uncontrollably, swerving all over the road. I tried to get her to pull over but she just started driving faster.”
“God . . .”