Yeah, I remember the first time I saw her. Sitting on the edge of my bed, envelope in hand. She said it contained the answer to everything. And she was more than willing to give it to me.

Pacing with the blade of knowledge to my throat, I didn’t want the responsibility. If I knew, I’d have to give up all this. Then what would I do with my time? What if it’s just a god damn photograph? This is exactly the kind of shit I try to avoid. I know she’s not going to wait forever. But I can’t look, not right now.

I suppose I would have to tell everyone else. Or fuck them, why do they deserve to know? I could become a prophet, a modern day messiah . . . or a motivational speaker, those people make all kinds of money and they’re full of shit. I’d at least know what I was talking about.

All I have to do is accept what’s in her hand. Maybe I should just walk away? Or would that be the biggest mistake of my life? Not like that notion has ever stopped me before. I like things the way they are. Simple, comfortable without pause. Blissfully ignorant. To rethink everything, that just seems like too much trouble.

Maybe I should kill her? Nah, that’s stupid, I’d never kill anybody. Not on purpose anyway. I’ll just walk away, she can’t follow me. Or can she? Fuck!

And why is that envelope so shiny and new? If that really does hold the answer to life as we know it, shouldn’t it be all ancient and worn looking? Like something hidden, passed down through the ages? Looks like she just got it at Office Depot or something.

There’s a knock at the door. Now who the hell could that be?

It’s time to go, come on.”

Wait, what?” I don’t recognize this person.

Wait what nothing. We gotta go. Let’s go.”

Hold on, I’m in the middle of something here.”

No you’re not. Look over there.”

Where did she go? She was just here, she was going to-”

She’s gone. You spent too long fucking around and now she’s sitting on the edge of someone else’s bed. Now let’s go.”

Where are we going?”

Well, she was willing to give you the answer to all life’s questions. You missed it. Now, I am going to give you the answer to the greatest question of all.”

What’s that?”

What happens when you die.”


edge of bed 3