Fucking mirror.

I have no desire to look at myself right now. But I can’t help but look. Each time, for just a moment during the approach, maybe, maybe this time, something will be different. But it’s not. It’s all the same. I can’t find a way to get away from this, it’s always the same. There has to be something that can carry me from this place, something more has to be waiting . . . it’s just too hard to accept that this is all there is. Where is the hope? Surely it doesn’t lie in all this.  I don’t care how deep you dig, nothing of any value lives here. And I’m sure, soon, you’ll give up. It’s too much work. It’s not worth it. I’m not worth it.  But please, before you walk away, look at my face one last time.

How careless is all this? How many things have we dropped along the way? Sometimes we step over and other times we just step on. Have you looked at your shoes lately? There may be more than gum on your soul. If you found a way beneath these layers can you accept what’s exposed? This is all for you but can you take it?

The mirror tells no lies. Well, maybe a few, but there’s enough truth in there that we can dismiss the lies. How else can you see the lines and darkness beneath the eyes? Who could ever look at yourself in the way you can? It takes a lot sometimes but other times, not much at all.

Because sometimes it really doesn’t matter. And other times it truly does matter but we just don’t give a shit.

Fucking mirror.




Originally posted at Morality Park


  1. The mirror in the deep dark of my soul tells the truth, speaks lies. It’s been broken and mended so many times my reflection is shattered. And maybe that’s more truth than when it was whole. I step closer, look within, jerk away, I don’t really want to see what lies there but then I still can’t look away. Great post. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 7 people

      1. Actually I think that you are probably more correct than you think when you say ‘all’. Even when we are aware of what we are doing we often try to fool ourselves into believing what we expect, want or need is an actuality.

        Liked by 3 people

      1. I agree! I find that I learn and grow more from the ugly things. The more painful things knock off my edges they polish me. Hopefully one day all I will see is the beauty I have become. Maybe one day. And it was my pleasure! 🙂

        Liked by 4 people

  2. funny, I’ve been playing around with a similar idea lately. about engaging 3 levels of ‘mirrors’, the real one is never fallacious though it acts as a veil-gateway towards deeper perception, and we usually cannot see it because it needs total silence. then the 2nd mirror is how we normally ‘see’ ourselves, it can shatter and distort, and edit away fragments and confuse and mollify. in order to overcome it, we need to escape inner narrative enough to entertain the suspicion it is illusory. and the 3rd mirror, the only physical one, are these actual mirrors hanging all over the place — what a peculiar ungodly invention — ensnaring our immature attention into what is physical appearance at the expense of what lives… I don’t know, something about your piece opens these ideas further for me.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Stories, a thoughtful-provoking piece. How many times do we look in the mirror going through the motions and not see ourselves, seeing only the shell of ourselves? Then there are the times that we don’t like what we see, so we don’t look, or we look through the image of ourselves. I like the following: “There may be more than gum on your soul.” I think there is, there is always more. ~ Mia

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Is this autobiographical? For me sometimes I wished the mirror lied. In good lighting it sometimes does. I know the face of the 63 year old woman staring back isn’t me! I’m only 36. All my life I’ve been told I look like my mother. She’s 85 and that scares the shit out my mirror!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would consider this fiction but yes, it all comes from parts of me, past and present. Self reflection, doubt, indifference, fear, weakness, beauty, ugliness, hate, love, judgment. Kind of a wormhole of duality.

      So if you do look as much like your mother as others say, do you get the feeling, when you look at her, that you are looking at yourself fifty years from now?


      1. Trying, difficult…but revelatory.

        Glad to be somewhat back connecting with people.

        I will try my best to catch up on your beautiful writings. I saw you read a few posts of mine while I was gone. That made me smile 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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