In this I have become
Plucked from sanity’s embrace
Ungrounding, unfurled
Wrought from fever and disgrace
In each step through
Cinder and ash, my becoming
Awoken on the edge
Of a creeping tide, overtaken
Suspended above watchful eyes
The breaking sounds of rancid bread
Quenching malnourished tendons
To form what stands before you
It spreads like disease
To the most sacred of places
Here, where once sought respite
Now gives way to a blackened
State of nothing
To let go of the something
Once held in defiance of waking
These things which rip at me
When I dare to close my eyes
A vengeful reminder
That what I have become
Is without beginning or end
Void of solace and sweet repose
Wrapped in sleepless hours
Drowning in the swirling eddy
Of an unsettled mind
You can pre-order my latest book by clicking here.
Painful. I can relate. Nice work.
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Thank you.
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Agree
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Nice and touching…
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Absolutely Stunning.
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Thank you very much.
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Great… as usual…
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Thank you.
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Sigh. It takes a master of words to place them so delicately together like so and have the reader actually feel what you write. This one makes my soul ache.
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Thank you very much for reading and the kind words.
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This sounds to me like an agonizing stage of going through the motions, only able to do the bare minimum to keep oneself sustained; not exactly to live but to keep on existing.
I enjoyed immersing myself in the words. Lovely write ❤️
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Thank you very much, I like your interpretation.
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You’re most welcome 😊🌸
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Damn. Powerful. I think i’ve felt like this a few times before. becoming undone~ Seems like pain that will last for an eternity. Lovely poem ❤
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Thank you!
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Ugh. This brings back painful memories.
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Thank you for reading!
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WOW!
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Hi, Rita.
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Hey, River!
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Relatable.
Great read, River.
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Thank you, Bojana.
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As I read this, I took a long painful breath in and released a cleansing healing one. Thank you.
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Maybe that’s the secret; don’t hold in the painful breath.
Thank you for reading.
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Strong & powerful, but still with a touch of melancholy. Like that 🙂
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Thanks, Ray!
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Oh this is excellent. The unsettled mind more acute during a sleepless night. Had a few of those myself… Anyway, love it.
And as a little aside: when I saw the title I thought maybe you had read had reviewed Michele Obama’s biography! 😜
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Thank you very much, Meg. Oh, that’s funny, I am aware she wrote a book, but didn’t know that was the name.
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Always a pleasure, River!
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This is so painfully beautiful, River, your emotions are poignant and well-penned.
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Thanks for reading, Josh.
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No problem!
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angst and longing made beautiful i can relate thanks so much for sharing 🙂
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And thank you for reading!
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Amazing River. Your style of writing is so moving. I have said this before, but this was painfully beautiful and I loved it. You can feel it.🖤
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Thank you very much, Stephanie.
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Painfully beautiful. The image is striking, too. Very well done 💗
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Thank you very much!
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hopelessness is suffocating…a constant falling where even hitting bottom is seemingly never realized
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Very true. Actually hitting bottom sometimes would be mercy.
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I don’t know how you make something so painful, so very beautiful – great work as always River :O) x
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Thank you!
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These things which rip at me
When I dare to close my eyes…
It did make me feel restless and lonely — great work!
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Thank you very much!
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This is exquisite, River!
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Thank you!
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Beautiful and stirring writing River.
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Thank you.
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You’re very welcome.
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Wow! The reader can relate and feel the pain as he / she reads this poem. Beautiful work!
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Thank you so much!
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This speaks to me so much River. Absolutely beautiful.
I’ll be lucky to be half the writer you are someday maybe.
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That’s kind of you to say, but I wouldn’t look at things that way. You have a talent at expressing a great many things with your words. We are all different but equal in value.
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As far as I can see, you’ve created your own form of poems, something that’s only yours and in your style. I like that very much. And this construction of verses, I can’t lay my finger on it and give it a name. Very interesting.
The verses are great and everybody comments on that, I tried to look at whole thing a bit more curiously. Fun stuff, even though it’s a bit dark. Keep at it, Commander Dixon.
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I really appreciate your comment, thank you!
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Painful and beautiful 💗
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Thank you.
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Touching, those are the things that makes us all afraid. Nice words
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Thank you for reading!
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Wow… what a stunning piece! 🌺
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That’s very kind, thank you!
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Powerful and vivid descriptions, River! Love how you’ve expressed it here 🙂
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Thank you, Tom.
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Thank you for being such an encouraging beta reader of my first story – glad you’ve enjoyed it so much & I appreciate all the feedback you leave! 🙂
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“The breaking sounds of rancid bread”
always love the richness of your writing
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I really appreciate you reading, thank you.
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It’s my privilege!
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River. Just wow. It’s like you opened a secret door I keep heavily locked inside the darkest place of my mind, looked at it and turned it into something beautiful. What Scriberly wrote so well is pretty much where I’ve been since Ben disappeared. And, yeah, I know it’s not all about me. But wow I could relate. That’s the beauty of this. A lot of us can relate to pain like this, at least in some point of our lives. This poem is stunning. I don’t know if you’ve experienced the teeth of depression or grief or despair, but this poem reads like you have — big time. If you’ve walked around on this planet long enough, you must have. It’s not my business. Poetry isn’t about the details. It’s about taking the huge, overwhelming feelings and making them soar. Like this poem. This really touched me today. It’s been a rough couple of months. Thank you. ♥.
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It’s futile to try and quantify or compare suffering, but I can’t even imagine what you have/are going through. I’ve had my share of things but nothing that could compare to losing a child. I’m deeply sorry for what has happened to you and your family. But I thank you for leaving this comment. Connecting with someone, even if through the darkness, is what all this is about for me. Take care.
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Really kind of you to say so River. I feel your compassion in your writing, and your comments and responses. Thank you for your response, very much. *hugs* ♥.
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Well written. Pain has no bounds and the mind can do all sorts of things.
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Thank you for reading!
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Amazing poem!
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Thank you kindly.
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Sounds like schizophrenic existence. Reading this, anyone can delve into the degenerative paranoia and feel the anguish. I love this one, a masterpiece! 😊
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Thank you very much for reading and the thoughtful comment.
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You’re welcome 😃
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Nice and touching…
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Thank you.
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🌹🌹🌹
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