What Comes

It’s different these days
I find it hard to remember
The person I was, back then
Or why I would do the things I did
Self-destructive tendencies
Taken to the brink, time and again
But always pulling back at the last second
Was there a part of me that knew
Someday I would have a reason to change
Something worth being a better person for
Maybe hope lived within, waited
Behind all the nonsense I believed true
So close, so many times, but never quite there
It’s strange though
There are parts of me that I miss
The reckless abandon, living like there’s no tomorrow
The romantic notion to live fast and die young
But now content in the slow lane
Hoping that death has a long way to go
To get to where I am today


  1. What a wonderful poem reflecting on the worst of times, yet the best in some strange way. I get that. I love the hope and the sense of adventure in life and the passage of time. Next week I’m off on my big Welsh Castle quest, so this one particularly resonates with me right now. I never thought I’d do anything like this. Great photo too, but it makes me dizzy just looking at it – it sets my vertigo off! It’s a good illustration of ‘the brink’. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m at standing right at the top of Caernarfon Castle trying not to look down! 🙂

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  2. Maturity, wisdom, self-reflection. I think it’s healthy to embrace all seasons of our life. From the wild-eyed reckless wonder of childhood to the internal vs external warring of adolescence to the devil may care of early adulthood to the settling in of mid-life to the self-reflection and internalization found in the later years. Each has their own place. Their own beauty. Their own lessons. I’m thankful for the quiet hope, the hope that day silently in the background, waiting for today, for the day I recognized it for what it was. Excellent writing, as always, River.

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  3. You went deep with this one. It’s interesting how you pick the proper words for the continuous buildup and then maintain the flow. Love this. Great job. Keep that inspiration going. Maybe do a longer one next time.

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  4. Such a wonderful thought provoking poem River. I am sure I am a lot older than you, but I can tell you as time marches on we all slow down and learn to cherish even the most simplest of pleasures. I like to think of it as a return to innocence. One summer when I was a child, I watched a butterfly cocoon for hours every day, waiting to see what would happen. These days, I find myself studying nature with the same intensity and curiosity, and I am grateful to have the time to do so.

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  5. Hi River. It’s been so long since I’ve commented. You know I read, but comment very little. You indeed knew something was waiting for you…. the elusive purpose. I’m glad Death is a log way off, too, my friend. For us both. This is a level of reflection, I think, only one can get to that used to live “like there was no tomorrow” and still be present on this earth. Left me speechless. Had to revisit a few times. Had to comment. Incredible, River.

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  6. Life unfolds loosely yet in patterns to some degree. Most of us go through stages that are different yet similar. We start childlike, wild and free, recognize our mortality as we move forward, realizing (to some degree subconsciously?) that life holds such great profoundness in the big and small things. Beautiful poem. It holds lovely observations that unite us all.

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