well, here I am

I’ve found myself

back in that all too familiar place

stroking the absurdity of my existence

the weeping walls turn

their tears to laughter

as I ignore my better instincts

and pull myself forward

into another day

if I could only recognize

how pathetic my attempts

to make something, worth anything

in the bowels of constant mis-firings

as I take aim at the sun

for one more backhanded

dose of reality

like spitting fire into the wind

I’m never smart enough to take cover

when the tide turns and the emptiness

opens up to swallow me

all over again