Till Then

I trusted

Closed my eyes

Bowed my head

Opened my mouth

Trusting

That even if

The taste

Was repulsive

It was what

Was good

For me

What I needed

To be strong

To fit in

I pinched my nose

As the onlookers

Exclaimed

The necessity

Of flavors

The delicate

Balance of

Spice and tart

I trusted

That they

Knew best

What was right

For me

Just swallow

And then

Be on my way

In the freshly

Pressed clothes

Laid out for me

On the bed

Chosen with care

Careful that

Everything matched

Fell in line

Filled the trends

It’s waiting

Just swallow

Trust

Nevermind

The scorching heat

Searing flesh

As the spoon

Is taken

Directly from

The flames

And shoved

Into your

Waiting gullet

Nevermind

The questions

Rising in the back

Of the room

Nevermind

The illusion

That you are

Going anywhere

Nevermind

The reality

Of your

Force-feeding

Under watchful eyes

And gentle hands

Bothering only

In the beginning

To hide the

Razor blades

Beneath their

Fingertips

As they

Shave away

The parts that

Don’t quite fit

Until the day

You are ready

To feed yourself

Dress yourself

And take over

The cutting

And shaping

In the off chance

That eventually

You ever manage

To make

Yourself fit

49 comments

  1. Oh lord! It’s a beautiful poem. The simplicity of style, words and forms adds much more to the depth of your work. Every word seems deliberate and well placed. Thoughts flow smoothly and effortlessly build the essence of the poem. I loved how you took your readers through this process that perhaps every human goes through.
    Glad to have found your work!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Incredibly powerful poem. Honestly, I think many of us feel this way to a certain extent. Never quite measuring up but then again never having the courage to ask who’s really doing the measuring and why. Until you’re twenty years into your adulthood and suddenly looking around, wondering how you got there. Seriously excellent piece.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah, so many things we’re supposed to be. So many people talk about “just being yourself” but how the hell are we supposed to know what that even is when we’ve been nothing but shaped in accordance with “their” dogma since the beginning?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderfully written, most unnerving, utopian in it’s delivery. Will we accept what is force fed to us? The Mall map, “you are here” with a big arrow. What are the expectations to conform, and what is the punishment for individuality? Wishing you and yours well. ~ Mia

    Liked by 2 people

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