i’ve never felt quite right
wrapped in confusion at the
perceived motivations around me
never really a direction
but displacement from the things
and the ways in which
i found myself incapable of
fitting into the mold
at times like a goldilocks
trying this and trying that
one thing to the next and
back again, nothing fit, no
comfort beyond the temporary
consumption of what they say
what i need, what i should do
and how i should be
again and again lumping myself
into the space they carved out
for me, cutting away the
frowned upon pieces, chunk
by pathetic chunk, but it was never
enough, for the space always
seemed to morph tighter and tighter
with each small death and
the constraining, choking of words
that no one seemed to understand
and it’s true, they’ve broken me
more than once, but it was never
enough, not for them, and not for me
Right on!
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Thanks for reading, Samantha.
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Relatable. Great read, River.
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Thanks, Bojana.
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Powerful truth, River. Your poem speaks for so many of us living in this world.
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Thanks, Judy.
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You’re very welcome.
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Wow, River, I could have written this. Except I couldn’t, of course, because I’m no poet, but you put what many of us feel into fabulously searing verse. There’s something very wrong with a world that makes people feel like that though, and that needed saying.
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Thanks a lot, Alli.
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I felt all of this, yet when I look at you I don’t see brokenness. I see scaffolding over the masterpiece of your perfect, beautiful soul. Yet even though I believe that about you, and me, I still can’t help walking into the darkness to feel that familiar brokenness again. Maybe it’s an obsession, the way Dickinson was obsessed with Death. No answers, but I enjoy thinking about it. I hope you don’t mind the musing comment on your gorgeous poem, River. ♥.
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Of course I don’t mind. Feel free to muse away. And thank you.
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Man oh man. Totally there. Some days, of course, are ‘worse’ than others. For me, the key is overcoming the lies. Those lies we tell ourselves when being abused and helpless and trying to make *logical sense* of WHY is this happening?? But those conclusions are hardly right. Those conclusions come through the lens of misuse and abuse, not reality. So, the ingrained overlays every new thought and emotion. ~sigh~ And now… to overcome the small deaths and LIVE in truth.
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That’s true. I have lied to myself and done far more damage than anyone else is capable of doing to me.
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I believe it.
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It’s terrible what people do to each other.
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Yeah. Regardless of anyone’s beliefs, “love thy neighbor” is some pretty damn good advice.
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This means something to me, but I think I’m a little afraid to face it.
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Give it a try.
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Whoaaaa, I really love that!! A dark and somewhat threatening write… (there’s at least a warning in here; an “I told you so”.
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Thank you very much.
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❤
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Thanks, Penny.
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Really touching.
These small deaths actually breathe life into our efforts to deal with most of the struggles.
That’s how we learn to conquer. 🙂
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Thank you, Terveen.
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No lie, you’ve a gift, River – there’s no simply moving on from your words, they kind of get inside and rearrange your thoughts a bit – I’ve been here a while now – contemplating.
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Thanks, Eric. That’s kind of you to say.
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So much pain in this one.
It’s never enough for them and once we get used it all that, it’s as if it’s never enough for us, either. Well worded.
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Thanks for reading, Sam.
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fine job on this, enjoyed the read, thanx
gray
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Thank you.
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Wow! That’s all I have to say.
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Thank you very much.
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Nice use of the theme of “fitting”…
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Thanks, Charlie.
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Reblogged this on Citizen Tom and commented:
Why did I reblog this poem? It is a poetic version of the last thing I posted, https://citizentom.com/2021/08/26/is-making-other-people-do-the-right-thing-the-right-thing-to-do/.
In that last post, we discussed how people build Utopian ideologies to mold the minds and hearts of entire societies. When we do that to other people, even on a small scale, we break them, and we mangle ourselves. We know it is prideful and wrong.
When we allow others to manipulate us into beliefs and deeds we find wrong, we must sear our own consciences. In our cowardice and submission we tempt our tempters towards greater evil.
What is the solution? Well, the Bible offers its wisdom.
If you are not Christian. Well, God put his moral law in each of our hearts. We know — at least we know until we have seared our consciences — something about what is right and what is wrong.
If you are a Christian? Then we have the Bible. We can read and study it. We can do our best to go beyond that moral law that God instilled within each of our hearts. Instead of pleasing the world, we can strive to please our Lord God.
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Reblogged this on boudica.us and commented:
H/T Citizen Tom
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Excellent poem. My hope is that the older we get and the more we know ourselves the less we’ll feel like Goldilocks.
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Hey, aren’t you the break out author of the soon to be critically acclaimed, once-finally-released best selling novella, Dog Meat?
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LOL, aw, thank you.:-)
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I don’t know your age, Priscilla. I’m a septuagenarian and I know myself pretty well, yet at times I’m still very much Goldilocks.
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This makes me feel seen and it’s the story of so many others. Social pressures are annoying 😦
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Thank you very much for reading, Desiree.
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I’m a misfit because I don’t even try to fit in. I don’t want fracture my wholeness in the process of fitting myself into the mold fashioned by the schizophrenic consumerist society. And it’s an honor to be able to resist the temptation to be a conformist. The originality comes under the disguise of “eccentricity”, the rare traits of geniuses that the parents and teachers will suppress bytheir programming.
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Thank you for reading, Neelam.
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Beautiful. We’re always stronger at the broken places:-)
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Thanks, Suzanne.
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And knowing that, don’t we then overcome it all?
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Hopefully . . .
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Hi River, amazing piece!!!!
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Hey, Monica, thanks. I hope you are doing well.
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Reblogged this on Blue Skies and Unicorns and commented:
I do feel this way often. Though as I get older, it seems I care less and less about fitting in with others but care more about those who already has a place beside me. Less complicated and less tiring that way, I guess…
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